I’m not even sure why I do. But it stirs something deep inside me like few modern phenomenoe of the 21st century can. I mean I just don’t dislike it. I loathe it. More than the terrorist or the War in Iraq. More than people who commit heinous crimes, or do bad things to puppies.

Maybe its due to the fact that three already wealth showbiz types are making millions more by contributing nothing to society; they are not educating , training or encouraging the wretched masses that come before them yearning to hit it big; nor are they displaying a modicum of talent themselves ( unless you consider Paula’s penchant for being a smart, successful showbiz type off screen while lapsing into fits of ditziness on screen to be a talent.)

Maybe its due to the fact that that it brings out a cross section of all that’s wrong with America. The hopefuls who want to be famous are silently endorsing Americas idol’s themselves; the latter being the do nothing, know nothing group of the latest paparazzi hounded bubble headed pretty boy’s and girl’s who’s legacy will be to survive eight bouts of rehab, or shave off their hair in a barber shop window.

Or maybe its due to the fact that the early rounds of each season’s auditions are more a three ring circus than a serious competition. Even the Miss America pageant pales in comparison. The hopefuls, for the most part, are either clueless as to what talent they possess ( like bad breath, even their best friends won’t tell them), or shameless masochist willing to do anything to attain Warhol’s proverbial minutes of fame, or in on the joke being perpetuated on the American public that the show has any redeeming value.

Paula, Randy, and Simon each have their own style. Paula is the typical mediocre wanna be almost Diva,
who before “Idol” would have been best remembered for her album “Forever Young Girl” (which by the way took 62 weeks to hit #1 on the Billboard 200 album sales chart, the longest an album has been on the market before hitting #1.)

Randy , although he tries to be cruel , comes across as a sincere, nice guy who would be better off
going back to playing bass for the rock group “Journey” or producing, promoting and cheering other artist as he did in his former capacity as a high powered executive for Columbia and MCA Records .

And than there is Simon, the true star of the show. Simon is probably the third most influential American alive today, behind our Commander in Chief and the new president of Microsoft.

The future of peoples lives and careers are determined by his decisions and words. The two things about Simon are his unpredictableness and his meanness. Simon is like the Sword of Damocles. Talent or no talent, you never know which way his is going to go. A female singer with whom the others are enamoured might get the axe because Simon doesn’t like the shade of eye shadow she put on that morning.
On the other hand an obviously marginal voice might get his thumbs up ( after his trademark mildly scathing critique of course) because God Simon believes he can be the muse, the pivotal person in someone’s career whose prodigal insight can propel an otherwise lost soul onto a career of grandeur.

But what I really dislike about Simon is his meanness. There is not a glint of compassion in his eye when he pronounces the death knoll to even the most naive, starry eyed hopeful . His critique’s, albeit usually accurate, are full of sad cliches and drone on and on like an incessant Howard Stern. Don’t get me wrong. I love Howard Stern. Stern possess a keen, insightful sarcastic sense of humor and the ability to pinpoint upcoming American trends and recognize farces better than the crew at Fox News or Talk Soup . And the guy is creative AND funny. Simon is neither. He just happened to come up with the right variation of a talent show at the right time, and was in a position to pitch it to the right people which will land him a place as an icon of American entertainment, and keeps him scowling all the way to the bank !