I’m a big fan of Valleyfair, but not a big fan of going when it’s haunted. In the past, I never even thought about going to ValleyScare at night when all the ghosts and ghouls were out, but this year, we did it!

Turns out, ValleyScare is a lot of fun.

The biggest thing to know about ValleyScare is that you can get light-up Boo necklaces which tell the performers not to scare you. It won’t always work, as you are at a haunted theme park after all, but the performers won’t be targeting you. The only exception is haunted houses. You can’t have them on in haunted houses. Out of four people, two in our group had Boo necklaces, which didn’t include me, and so we were relatively safe.

The other big thing to know is ValleyScare performers can’t touch you. They can’t sneak up behind you and tap you on the shoulder, they can’t grab you so you can’t get away, they can’t even give you a high five. This lowers the scare factor quite a bit in my book. I’m not a fan of being scared, so knowing they can’t actually get me is reassuring.

Walking through the haunted walkways was actually a lot of fun. Especially when there was a group of people in front of us who took the brunt of the scares. They’d scream, I’d laugh, and then I’d hurry by.

We did do three haunted houses. The first was Cryptid Land. It was pretty nerve wracking and supposedly was one of the scarier ones. Lots of dark, narrow hallways full of twists and turns.

The second was Blood on the Boundary Waters. This was the least scary of them all. It was actually outside, so no narrow, winding, hallways. Plenty of room to keep yourself away from the performers, and pretty short.

The third was Berserkers. This was another inside haunted house, much like Cryptid Land. The dark, narrow hallways allowed plenty of spaces for the performers to hide. It was pretty good, and I didn’t get too scared, but I was also glad to be out of there.

There were a few other haunted houses, but they had long lines and some got pretty gory from what we heard.

I have to say, it was scary enough for me. More of jump scare, rather than terrifying. Enough to get your heart racing, but not enough that you couldn’t sleep at night. Oh, and it turns out, when I get scared, I talk to people. I would things like “oh hi, how are you today?”, and “hey Bob, you look good” as a way to normalize the situation and reduce the fear. Or do a friendly wave. In one of the haunted houses, I even started telling the performers what to do. It was something like “No. No. No. No. No. No. You don’t jump out at me.” My wife found that hilarious.

We also tried to go on rides, but the lines were extremely long. That was the biggest disappointment of the night.

In the end, it was a fun night, and I’d do it again. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. Granted, being with my family helped me feel safe.