Do you ever just feel lost? Right now everything is changing around me and I’m feeling very lost as to what to do next. My dad got a job in Oklahoma in July and so has been living down there but my mom has been living up here while trying to sell their house. All of us knew selling their house would be a challenge as they living in a dying town of 500 people and their house was built in the 1800’s. We all felt horrible that my mom was playing the visit my dad and then come back up here but yet my family enjoyed that she was still here. With her being here she still played a major role in my daughters life and in mine. She was around if we needed a babysitter, if we needed help with anything, or just when there was a concert or something that we wanted her to attend. Yes we were selfish but with her being the last family of mine to still be in Minnesota I wanted someone here. I wanted someone here for holidays, for summer outings, for shopping with. I’m not one who goes out and socializes easily and family has always been extremely important to me so I enjoyed having my parents nearby. So anyways in December, they got 2 offers on the house, one with an inspection and one without. They jumped on the one without and are now officially planning on moving January 24th. I spent my last night visiting their house last weekend. It was hard.
Now of course this makes me question a few things, we have been talking of moving for a while but have unfortunately been stuck in a house that had been underwater (bought it and then the bubble burst). Do we move? My husband is fortunate enough that he can work wherever he wants to but he never moved in his life until he got to college and has definitely never lived outside of Minnesota. I on the other hand had moved every three years until I was in High School. To me moving is exciting and expected. To him moving is scary and doesn’t necessarily need to happen. Plus then there’s the fact that his family is still here. Unfortunately with his family we aren’t as close to them. We don’t see them as often and when we do its usually just a day trip here and there.
Next there is the fact that I’m supposed to be getting a job here this year. This scares me to no end as I have been staying home with our daughter for the past 3 years. It doesn’t help that now I look at my family spread all over and I think of all the vacation days that will be spent visiting family versus doing our own thing or spent on a sick child, or school closed now that we don’t have someone who can come up. I loved staying home with our daughter and am very sad to be thinking about it ending. I look into Homeschooling her as I thoroughly enjoyed doing her preschool at home but there are so many questions about this that make me worried.
So many questions about things lately and nothing being decided. I’m one who has to plan things and knows where things are going to go. Quitting my job to stay home with my daughter was the first thing I did without having a back up. It scared me but was so worthwhile.
So for the past 3 years I have been blessed in the fact that I got to stay at home with my daughter. It was a very tough decision to come to originally as I was working hard at being an accountant and was definitely rising to the top but the question I kept coming back to was at what cost. I was working probably around 50-55 hours in a 4 day week plus driving 45 minutes each way to work. By the time I got home at the end of the day after starting at 5 AM I was exhausted and not much good to my family. On the weekends I would stress about trying to get done those things that had been missed and then start stressing about my upcoming week at work.
To say the least I wasn’t very happy.
Then work started making some changes which pushed me to realize I needed to make some changes in my life. I did and became the stay at home mom that I am today. It has been 3 years and I don’t regret much about it. The biggest fear now is the day that its time to go back to work.
Now that my daughter is in Kindergarten I have decided that I need to start thinking about next steps in my life and probably get a job. Can I just say this terrifies me on so many levels?
First off I keep thinking that I need to go back into accounting as I was obviously good at it but after being away for 3 years can I still do it?
Second its going to be a huge adjustment on our family in so many ways. I currently plan all of the meals and home cook most of them, I am hear when our daughter is sick and can’t go to school, I clean the house thoroughly, I research and plan things to do, and I help my parents who are currently having issues selling their house. If I go back to work how do I balance all of that and a job.
I have time before I have to go back but I’m using some of that time to actually research what is out there. Ideally would be staying at home and working from home but I’m not sure how to find a legit opportunity. Stress!:)
Since becoming a one income family in early spring we have been watching money very tightly. We were very fortunate before making the decision to just spend(within reason) and not worry too much about what was spent. Luckily for us both of us have always been savers and very money frugal in general. Saying that though we never had budgets and never really had a good understanding where our money went.
Things have changed since moving to a one income household. Now using the help of mint.com and running my own spreadsheet I track every penny that we use and what it is used for. I really like how mint.com works in most respects but do have some complaints:
1. If you set up budgets and you have an expense happen that isn’t in your budget it lumps it into an other expense and doesn’t include that in your monthly total expenses/income. This is why I keep my own spreadsheet also.
2. We have had several items that keep showing up as pending even though they aren’t pending in our accounts. Mint’s solution to this just delete them. Why should I have to where are these coming from are other items incorrect?
3. Including credit cards in mint. If you are like us and pay most things via online bill pay but would like to see the transactions that may not have been paid yet on your credit card. Mint can do this but you have to be very careful to make sure you don’t double count them in your transactions.
Other things besides mint.com have been subscribing to coupon feeds such as Hip2Save.com, among others. They alert you of deals at Walgreens, cvs, target, among others.
Overall it’s still something we are adjusting to but it has actually been a very beneficial lesson for us.