In February we started to hear about this sickness at that time called Coronavirus but I know my family believed it could never affect us like it was in Asia. Good, bad, or ugly all of my diagnosis’s cause me to be more anxious and I’m a preparer in general so I started picking up a few things here in there in case things would change here. I never really stockpiled just picked up a few extra things. It became an ongoing joke with my daughter and husband because I would go to the grocery store and ask my family if Coronavirus came here and we were quarantined what would you want to have to eat or do. So yes I picked up some comfort items that we would have in the house if we would be stressing about going out.

In March, things became more real where cases were starting to appear and people were talking more about having to be quarantined. Grocery stores started to empty out too. I told my husband several times during this that it was great to be gluten free as the gluten filled breads and other items would be all gone but the gluten free areas would still be full. Still at this point I hadn’t hit the anxiety, annoyance, or just being plain overwhelmed.

The end of March our state decided to lock us all down. The Friday before this all happened we had made the executive decision to take our daughter out of school so that she could spend a day with a set of her grandparents. We weren’t sure what the future would bring and when the next time we would see them again or if we would even see them again. Who knew that Monday the governor would shut school down and change everything so dramatically. We are incredibly thankful that we did that though.

Now starts the phase of our life change. The first thing that happened with me was the fear/anxiety. I started to hear that people with PBC are higher risk (later learned that it depends on what stage you are in). We also started reading about what COVID does to the body and it scares me to no end. Its not just that we might end up with bad symptoms its that we might end up in the hospital when there aren’t enough doctors, hospital beds, etc. It leaves me sleepless. I worry that my husband and I are going to leave my daughter parentless. I worry that I’m going to lose my parents (one of whom has multiple health conditions that cause him to be higher risk). I worry that my daughter will get it and develop bad symptoms and end up in the hospital. I worry about what this is going to do to society as a whole.

With all this fear we as a family haven’t been into a grocery store since March. We have done pickups, thank goodness for instant cart and target pickup. I have made us all face masks and we have gloves. Yet with all of that we still go out and walk and live in a small town and you can tell most in our small town do not believe that this is a thing.

Now on to annoyance. So many things can cause annoyance depending on the moment. Politics in general are driving me crazy. I can’t even imagine opening things back up currently. I get people wanting to work since they have lost their jobs but is it worth losing your life or someone else life for it. If you can shelter in place for that much longer it may take the risk down a lot more but instead of our leader leading us like he should he’s encouraging other to protest people who are saying to shelter in place. I can’t imagine why our leader would do that its just ridiculous.

I love my daughter dearly but there is a reason we chose not to homeschool. Teachers are desperately trying to learn how to do this distance learning. Its going better then I thought but I do feel bad for my daughter as she is an only child and because we are higher risk she can’t even play with the neighbors. At least she gets to talk to friends online but us doing schooling at home and us entertaining her is getting old for her I’m sure.

One final annoyance, at the beginning of this gluten free shopping was getting easy. Now I’m having to shop at new stores and trying to learn what is gluten free. Also now companies who made great gluten free stuff are stopping that to make gluten stuff because everyone is hoarding stuff. Therefore finding gluten free stuff is getting harder.

Overwhelmed, that seems to describe my constant state now. I don’t know what to expect everyday when we wake up. I pray that we won’t catch it. I pray that government can make smart decisions and quit spending their time ripping each other apart. I pray I can control my anxiety so that my daughter doesn’t get scared. She’s definitely going to grow up in a different world. I pray we can get past this and somehow get back to some sort of normal. I basically am just trying to put one step in front of the other at this time.

So after I got diagnosed with Celiac Disease my GI doctor decided to run the gamut of tests to see what was off in my body. We already knew my iron was off and so I got to go on iron for that but he attributed that to my celiac and my other issue (previous blog posts), but he also said other things could be off so why not test some more.

Can I just say I have never had any issues getting blood drawn. My mom hated getting her blood drawn as her veins always rolled but I never had an issue, oh wait spoke too soon. Sometime in the middle of all my diagnosis’s and blood draws my veins decided that they had enough and decided they were going to be stubborn. From there on out every time I went in the lab people would have to spend 10-15 minutes digging in my arms for veins and let me tell you not fun!

Anyways so my doctor noticed on my blood draw that my liver enzymes were slightly elevated and so he decided I needed a liver biopsy. That scared me a lot. I questioned him thoroughly because I had been on multiple medications that would impact my liver and so didn’t want to go through with it if it was just those medications. He pushed back and wanted me to have it and after much debate back and forth decided to go through with it.

Now I didn’t get a lot of information on what the biopsy would entail just was told to plan to be there with someone to drive me home after 4 hours. Needless to say my mind started right up on the anxiety. If you look things up online it makes it even worse… don’t!

By the time I got there for my biopsy I decided what will be will be and had shaken most of the fears away. They took me first to get blood drawn (yay!) and then I went back where I got an IV put in for getting something to slightly take the edge off. They then took me back to have the biopsy done. First before I tell you about the biopsy I will say I loved all of my doctors and they immediately put me at ease with the process.

That being said for me it was not a pain free process. The doctor who was doing the biopsy said for some they feel no pain at all and others its a bit more it just depends on how your body takes to the meds. Mine was lucky in that I felt it. They took 5 samples from me and on was fine but the others you could feel everything. It at least was a quick process and the doctor did his best to distract me. After they get done with that they then hold pressure on the area for 10-15 minutes to stop any bleeding and then you lay for a few hours after. They monitor your blood pressure every 15 minutes.Recovery was fine, I had a bit of discomfort that day but nothing like my surgery.

Then came the waiting game. They told me it would take 3 days to hear results. By 5 I still didn’t have any. Finally a week and a half in (I did get an update from the doctor telling me it was taking longer) I found out I had been diagnosed with early stage of PBC Primary Biliary Cirrhosis.

PBC is another auto immune disease (they run in groups). Basically my body is attacking my bile ducts. Slowly but surely my liver will get cirrhosis and need to get a transplant. This could take years and years though as it depends on the stage you are in when diagnosed and how well your body responds to medication. I am now on Urisidol capsules twice a day and I will be on them the rest of my life.

Some of the not so fun things about this disease is you can develop terrible itchiness, dry eyes, dry mouth, teeth issues, extreme fatigue, amongst others. Not everyone has every symptom. Me currently I only have some mild itching as the disease progresses though it could get worse. I’m doing my best to keep up with my family though and not let this diagnosis slow me down. I’m still in the try to accept this phase but hopefully I will get there.

My daughter is currently in Kindergarten at a great school.  She is doing good, not above average but keeping up with everyone.  Her class size is 24 kids which seems like a lot.  Lately I have been looking into homeschooling and what you need to be able to do to home school your child.  There are many things that make me contemplate homeschooling from, being able to set your own schedule, not necessarily having a huge summer break, controlling what your kids are exposed to/learn, etc.

The major thing that holds me back though is, how do you afford it?  I have been home with my daughter for 3 years and its been surprisingly easier on our budget then expected but its still not as easy as when I was working.  I’m concerned as I know we have some major expenses coming up that I don’t want to just ignore and so I’m torn.  Do most home school parents find jobs in the evenings?  How do you do it?

Next concern what happens come high school/college time.  I have a 4 year degree in accounting but I don’t know if that means I can teach her well enough to get through High School.

How do I know homeschooling if the right choice?

So after much searching around several years ago to determine what brand new car I wanted to buy I bought a 2002 Hyundai Sonata.  I have like the car allot.  It had all the features at the time I was looking for and it was a reasonable price.  I have to say though I have decided I will never buy another Hyundai again.  The reason behind it is not due to the car again its due to the service centers.  After buying my car and moving I realized there are not alot of Hyundai service areas around.  Mind you I can get the oil changes and what not done whereever but whenever I needed something fixed by a the dealer it was a pain trying to get my car there.  Every service center I have taken it too has treated me because I’m a woman like I don’t know anything.  They have also had horrible service hours which are most car dealerships not just hyundai and that is more because we have to drive 45 mintues to get to the dealer.

The final straw though came on Saturday, we scheduled an appointment online to deal with a recall situation on my car.  We had tried the phone but always got put on hold forever.  In our online scheduling we asked how long the service would take.  My husband was told the oil change would take 40 minutes and the recall would take a couple of hours to a few days.  Mind you they got back to him about this the night before we were scheduled to take it in and at that point we had already waited several weeks to be able to get in.

My husband took my car in an they told him as he dropped it off there was no way it would be done until at least Monday.  Why they didn’t tell us that right away I don’t know.  So my husband asked if they had a loaner or even a rental vehicle.  They said that we had to schedule that out 3 weeks in advance.  They offered to let us reschedule but that would have meant waiting several weeks again.  Since this wasn’t the first bad experience but like the 5 or 6th I have to say even though I’m thinking of looking for a new car it won’t be a Hyundai!!!

We had a baby in August that was 6 pounds 13 ounces and had bought a variety of clothes for her.  Some we bought in newborn size, some in 0-3 months.  Newborn sizes state they fit babies 5-8 pounds and 0-3 month fit 8-12 pounds.  Some of the newborn outfits fit perfectly on her and some she drowned in.  I don’t understand how they can be so different but I suppose its like adult clothes.  She is now 6 weeks old and almost 9 pounds.  She fits in most newborn clothes now (a few are still too big) but definitely doesn’t fit into 0-3 month clothes.

I never know what size to buy her and its not like you are going to take her into a dressing room and try clothes on her.  I’m lucky to get into a store and out without her screaming.  The other thing I have noticed is that certain brands run bigger then others but yet I can’t even rely on that as certain outfits in a brand will fit and others won’t.  Its just amazing the differences.